Hi! Did you miss me? Where was I? I would love, love, love to tell you I was on a tropical island where there was no wi-fi. But, no, the island had wi-fi. I was just lazy. ;) No, that's not true either. I was sick. Really, really sick. Just a nasty head cold, but bad enough to keep me couch-bound and barely able to watch TV even. It hit me really hard, since it was actually the 1st time in 13 months that I actually got sick! That is unheard of with me. I have a weak immune system. And I get sicker than others do with the same virus. So, this past year, no colds/ flues/ stomach viruses, way strange. But, I was very happy to be healthy for so long. The down side was that when I finally did get sick, I was much more miserable than I would have been with a few colds in between. Oh well, on the mend now, nearly better. So, my "whatever Wednesday" will continue my personal Salvation story.
So, I left off where I decided to leave the Catholic church in 2002.
The next six years were marked by becoming pregnant with child number four (When I get pregnant, I get sick. I don't mean a little sick, I mean really, really sick. With that last pregnancy, I was in a group of less than 1% of less than 1%, but that's another story), two moves, the second one was into the first house we've ever bought (still here...) - an adventure in it's self. Also, finding a new homeschooling group where we moved to. I was running one, but it was small and it became one of those, everyone is happy to be a part of it, if they don't have to help. So, I needed a new one. When I found a nice sized local group, it happened to be a Christian group. You didn't need to be Christian to join, but could not do anything against or anti-Christian. That was fine with me. I was Christian, sort of . I often explain to others how, I knew all about Jesus, but I didn't know Jesus. I didn't know there was a difference back then.
In 2007 I joined the group and started going to meetings and joined in on the co-op classes. We are fortunate enough to have a couple of churches who let us use their buildings during the week and are able to have a nursery for the teacher's younger kids, if they'd like to drop them off. It's a good place to visit as well. I volunteered to help out in there and ended up in many conversations about God. At the same time I was tuning into the local VCY station. It's a Christian, mostly talk, radio station. "Revive Our Hearts," "Cross Talk" and other programs like that are aired daily/weekly. Some of the shows I liked to tune into was about personal Salvation stories. People would tell their stories in story form, one program dramatized them.
So, flash forward a little over a year. October 2008. One woman in particular invites me to her Assembly of God church, I go. Other women talk about how Jesus touches their lives, I listen. And I'm spending more time listening to the Christian radio station than I am watching tv.
There were a lot of things going on at this time. Things that I might talk about in the future, we'll see. But, a lot of just, junk - is the best way to describe it. I was in a pretty low place, and I was trying so hard to find a way to climb out. Everything I had done in the past hadn't worked, what could I try next?
Then, late that night, I was driving home, alone, and I had the radio on. Someone was talking about their journey, how once they accepted Jesus, how great their life became. How much it changed. Their story was really close to mine. I was crying. No, I was bawling, rather loudly, sobbing. I cried a lot when I listened to the stories, but just a quiet tear or two, not sobs. I had had it. I was so tired of feeling lost, alone, scared. I wanted what those people had. I wanted to be saved. I wasn't sure that they were being truthful, or if they were, they had to be exaggerating.
At that time, I didn't care. I turned off the radio, and just started crying out, screaming really.
"OK GOD! LET'S SEE IT! PROVE IT! JESUS, I ACCEPT YOU AS GOD'S SON! PLEASE COME INTO MY HEART AND SAVE ME!"
It was like a flash of light hit me. As soon as the word "me" slipped out of my mouth, I felt warm, from the inside out. It was a warm, soft, glow of love, just pulsed through my. It started at my heart, and spread throughout my whole body. I pulled over, and just sat there and cried silently. But, it wasn't a sad cry anymore. It was a happy cry. Everything changed right then. In that one second, I wasn't alone anymore. There was someone there who loved me. No matter what I did, do, have done. He loves me. I never felt that before. I could feel Him in every part of me.
I was saved.
I don't know how long I sat there, crying on the side of the road. It couldn't have been very long, since I wasn't particularly late getting home. But, I was different. Everything was so very different.
That's it. That's my story. I didn't find a church until after the new year. I had a Bible or two at home, and I did start reading them right away. But sometime in February, I bought a Bible for me. Then, I really began to read. It was a simple brown leather Bible I got for less than ten dollars. I have since got a pink (as pink is the best color) one that I now use, but still have that first one I bought for myself, and all the notes of my first year or two of my journey with Jesus.
I'd love to hear your stories. Tell them in the comments or add alink to your page.
blessings,
mamaAthena
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