So, Monday again. How about a little more of my story. But what part? Last time was about my journey to Salvation. Oh, I know, how about why I started homeschooling? ok? Here we go....
Now, when I had my first baby, and I was sitting in the hospital bed, holding her, I thought to myself, "I wish I would never have to send you away from me, to daycare or school." At that time, (1993) homeschooling was legal, but I had no idea it existed. I think that's true for a lot of us.
Fast forward five years, I sent her to kindergarten. A full day one, because that was what was there. Yes, I cried. Sometime during that year, I heard of homeschooling. I was sold. She finished kindergarten, and I started to homeschool her and her 3 year old brother. At the start of the new year(2000), she was back in school. I was terrified of messing up. I was loosing my temper and yelling at her. I even spanked her once for not working. (Yes, I'm very ashamed of myself.) It's not an excuse, but I was so worried she wouldn't learn what she needed to. In 1999, there still wasn't much out there in support of homeschoolers, and, I foolishly didn't try to find a support group. I did have a name & number, but I didn't call. So, I gave up. If I couldn't spend the day without yelling, or loosing my temper, I had no right to have her at home all day.
School did not go over too well. I enrolled my next child, and we found out he has Asperger's. Back then, no one had even heard of it. There was ONE book out that wasn't a medical journal of some sort. I went down the checklist, he go 9 out of 10 for everything. I already knew something was off. I had heard of Autistic kids before, even met one, but I knew that wasn't it. I was glad to have an answer. So the public school (& privet doctors) did help out there. But still, things just weren't right. I had trouble with my children's teachers & principals - I wanted to be involved a lot more, they didn't like it. My daughter's second grade teacher actually told the kids a story about a black man who had recently been tied to two cars, and pulled apart. She told them the cars literally tore the man's arms & legs off!! This was a terrible hate crime, no argument there, but SEVEN years old is WAY, WAY to young to tell that kind of story to. I went in to talk to the principal, because I was so mad, I felt he should take care of this situation. I asked him to keep my name out of it, so Ky wouldn't have to deal with any repercussions. He didn't. I think I was home for 10 minutes, when the phone rang, and the teacher went off on me! Telling me I should have talked to her first, that I was a terrible person for talking to her boss, and that if I didn't want my daughter to hear that kind of story, I must be raciest! I ended up apologizing to her, she was so aggressive. I didn't back down that the story was inappropriate, but still accepted the blame. (but that's something else) The principal refused to move her to another class. She was treated a bit different after that, not too horrible, but it was still an issue. We ended up deciding to move and were able to switch her to a new school after a few months. yea.
New school, new school system. It was rated like #2 in our area. Good. Maybe now things will change. Her first teacher wasn't too bad. She liked me involved. I was pregnant w/ baby #3, and sick. Super sick. We also were down to one car, which my husband took to work. So, this teacher would call me after school so we could talk. I actually liked her. Jy's teacher had a notebook that went back and forth everyday. She didn't call as often, but we communicated every day. It was really hard for me to not be able to show my face regularly.
1st & 3rd grade: Jy ended up at a different school building because of his special needs. And Ky ended up with a completely burned out teacher. Jy was ok, but did have some trouble with the other students. Over all though, he was unaware of the picking on. His bigger thing was they were holding him back in work, he was bored with it, and because he couldn't sit still (ADHD too), they thought he couldn't do it. But this is where Ky's story gets sad.
Her 3rd grade teacher had 28 kids in her class, and NO HELPER! 3rd grade was when grades were started to be given out. Ky came home with all As. But all her papers were Fs. I tried over and over again to contact this teacher. I tried to set times to call, she would agree, but leave as soon as school was out. I tried to send notes, she wouldn't reply. I know Ky gave the notes to her, because when I managed to get my mom's car and drove in, her teacher told me she got them. She just didn't have time to reply! She told me she left early because she wasn't feeling good. I like to think she was just super burned out, and not just a horrible teacher. Then there were the kids in my daughter's class. There was one girl that had some of the same issues as my son, but the parents were in complete denial, and wouldn't do anything about it, and refused to let her be moved to special classroom. As a result, no one would play with her. Except my daughter. She was always like that. Wanted everyone included. I was proud of that. But, this girl had no control over her actions. She would get excited and pull on Ky, or push her down. Once she pushed Ky down the slide, backwards. Ky was terrified. She got a few bruises, and the school never let me know about it. Ky said she told her teacher, but the teacher did nothing. My husband and I went to school the next day. The solution was the little girl was not allowed to play with Ky for a month. And if Ky had any trouble, she was to go to the recess teachers and they were suppose to send her into her class room. It was fine for about 3 weeks. No trouble. Then when there was trouble, the recess teachers ignored her. Actually didn't even respond to her!
I was done. My 8 year old daughter had bags to half way down her cheeks (I'm not exaggerating!), she had tummy aches every morning, and she cried every night. She needed to come home. We couldn't afford privet school, so homeschooling was the only choice we had. I was really scared to mess up again. And my husband was outright against it this time. He finally agreed saying, "the sooner you pull her out, the sooner you'll put her back. And this is the last time." So, filled out our required forms, sent a note to the teach that after Easter break (it was March that year) she would not be coming back to school. With one week left, she finally told me about the little boy who sat across form her all year. Every day he would whisper awful things to her "you're worthless, you suck, you're stupid, you're dumb.." and such. When I questioned her, she told me she had tried to tell the teacher, but each time she raised her hand, the teacher would tell her to put it down. Wouldn't even ask what she needed. When she tried other times, the teacher just dismissed her each time. And when she tried to tell him to stop, she got scolded for talking. I offered to her to not finish that last week, she wanted to go to say bye to her friends. So, she finished out that week. I was watching kids for the Easter break, five of them, plus my 3! In a small apartment. There was a lot of activity that week. But, once everyone went back to school (my younger son included), she slept until noon for two straight weeks (still going to bed at 8). Now, this little girl decided at 2 that 6:00 am was a good time to get up, even though she wasn't going to bed until 11:00 (I had her on a second shift schedule on purpose - but once that started, it was first! LOL). That tells you how bad she had felt in that school. She went from being a sad, unhappy and crabby little girl, to out sweet and kind girl again. I was so happy.
The original plan was to leave Jy in school for 2nd grade, since he was doing ok. But, by the end of 1st, he was having more trouble than I thought he should. So, he finished 1st, but we brought him home after that.
The rest is history. We've happily homeschooled all these 15 years. And my husband became supportive after the end of that first summer. A couple of years into homeschooling, he told me "you're a much better homeschooling mother than you ever were school mother!" I did reach out this time and find a group. I think it made all the difference. It's not the same group I'm a member of now. That first one sort of ended, not with bad feelings though. But, I had a place to go, where other mom's who had been doing this longer and those who were new too, they could give me advice and support to keep it up. It's the biggest advice I give anyone who is wanting or new to homeschool; find a support group that works for you!
As for that little boy, I only feel sorry for him. And that's what I taught Ky to think about him too. They only way an eight year old boy says things like that, is because someone is saying them to him. I can only pray that things got better for him.
So, there's my homeschooling story. I tried to keep it short, but it's not really a short story, is it?
blessings,
mamaAthena
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